


be my mistake

by rilayacamren



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Lena Luthor, F/F, Gay, Lena Luthor-centric, Lena is in love with Kara, Mutual Pining, lena is also oblivious that kara loves her back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 09:32:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rilayacamren/pseuds/rilayacamren
Summary: i reposted it because i originally posted it at 3 am and it didnt make sense to me so i fixed it loli love this song and its so personal to mei relate to lena way too muchanyway i hope you enjoy it :)





	be my mistake

**_And be my mistake_  **  
**_Then turn out the light_ **

 

Lena didn't know what she was doing. She didn't know why she was with James, she didn't know why she was so unhappy. Except, she did. She knew what, or more specifically  _who_ , was the root of her issues. It was a 5'8",  blonde haired, blue eyed, and kind hearted, beauty. Kara Danvers was her issue. Kara Danvers and her dopey beautiful smile. Lena found herself so incredibly infatuated with the blonde that she had trouble focusing on anything else many times before. Lena was hopelessly in love with Kara, but yet she refused to value her personal happiness and settled for James. James Olsen, who was a kind hearted man, but he wasn't Kara. There were times that Lena felt terrible, because she didn't love James and she knew this but would lead him on. She doesn't understand why she would that, maybe because he was a safe bet for her. He couldn't hurt her like Kara had the ability to. Lena didn't know a lot of things. But she knew one, she wanted Kara. Yet, she wouldn't grant herself her wish.

 

**_She bought me those jeans_  **  
**_The ones you like_  **  
**_I don't want to hug_  **  
**_I just want to sleep_ **

 

James was a good boyfriend. He loved Lena, and Lena felt safe around him. But there were times that Lena could not stand James touching her. It made her feel dirty and uncomfortable. James wasn't the problem, Lena was. Lena didn't like his hands on her, they felt sweaty and rough and she craved a much more delicate touch. Whenever he would spend the night Lena tried to go straight to sleep just to avoid his touching. She doesn't remember the last time she was intimate with him, it makes her cringe at herself. The thought of his hands running down her body makes her shift uncomfortably, she tries her best to avoid those moments. 

 

_**The smell of your hair**  _  
_**Reminds me of her feet** _

 

The moments where she would allow intimacy between James and herself she does her best to picture blonde hair and blue eyes. She imagines callused but still smooth hands exploring her body. She imagines stormy, darkened blue eyes raking up and down her body and piercing through her soul. She imagines Kara's voice whispering in her ears. Her tone muscles flexing as she touches Lena's body. Lena imagines herself gripping onto Kara's tone arms and tracing her sculptured abs. In those moments of intimacy, whether with James or herself, she pictures Kara. She will always picture Kara.

 

****_So, don't wait outside my hotel room  
Just wait till I give you a sign_    
_'Cause I get lonesome sometimes_

 

Lena finds herself internally frustrated. She just wants to yell from her building's rooftop and just cry her heart out. But she is a Luthor. Luthor's don't yell from rooftops and cry their hearts out over pretty blue eyed blondes. So, she internalizes her frustration and sadness and moves on with her life. She busies herself with mindless sex with James, work and way too much alcohol. Those things seem to distract for a while from thinking of Kara. She's coming to notice it's not working as well as she would hoped for.

 

**_Save all the jokes you're going to make_  **  
**_Whilst I see how much drink I can take_  **  
**_Then be my mistake_ **

 

Alcohol seems to be her remedy to when work, James and her mind become too much. Her and James don't seem to be in a great place, she thinks their end might be coming up. Unsure of who will approach the split up first. She thinks it will be her, she silently hopes it's James so she feels less guilty about it. Drowning herself in her work, rarely leaving her office or even making contact with other humans, Lena accidentally sinks into a Kara shaped hole. It's been days since she last saw James, or anyone other than Jess really. Kara of course, would try her best to check on Lena and would bring her food to make sure she was eating. Lena saw a problem in this, she just fell deeper in love with Kara.

 

**_I shouldn't have called_  **  
**_'Cause we shouldn't speak_  **  
**_You do make me hard_  **  
**_But she makes me weak_ **

 

She wasn't quite sure how she ended unclothed in James' bed. She remembers calling him and that is about. All she knew is that she regretted it and felt disgusted with herself. She was desperate to leave and quickly gathered her things and got dressed. James was confused and upset. That was when everything went to shit. There was a lot yelling and crying and Lena's head was spinning. That is when she heard him say it, "If you want to lie to yourself about Kara fine but, don't drag me along." Lena felt sick to her stomach and she was almost positive her heart was about to jump out of her chest. She wasn't sure what to do, she wasn't even sure how she got home. 

 

****_So, don't wait outside my hotel room  
Just wait till I give you a sign_    
_'Cause I get lonesome sometimes_

 

Lena called in sick the next two days. That caused alarm in her secretary Jess who quickly contacted her CFO/best friend Sam Arias. Sam showed up at her house as soon as she got out of her meeting and tried to offer any type of support possible. Much to Sam's dismay nothing was working and she was growing extremely concerned for her green eyed friend. That was when an idea popped into Sam's mind. She knew that a certain blue eyed blonde could possibly be the answer to Lena's problems. Because even though Lena was a genius the brunette was completely oblivious to the fact that the blonde girl was walking heart eyes around her. So Sam quickly got in contact with Kara and had the blonde on her way to Lena.

 

**_Save all the jokes you're going to make_  **  
**_Whilst I see how much drink I can take_  **  
**_Then be my mistake_ **

 

Sam tried to sober Lena up as much as she could before Kara arrived. Lena smelt strongly of liquor so hurrying the green eyed girl into the shower she set out some comfy clothes and actual food for her friend. As soon as Lena was done showering Sam forced her to eat some pasta she had prepared for her. Sam made sure Lena brushed her teeth and didn't look like she just raised from the dead. Right as Lena finished up in the bathroom the doorbell rang and Sam smiled to herself as she opened the door for Kara. Sam quickly yelled a goodbye to Lena and told Kara what to expect. Lena walked over to the front door to see who had arrived and found herself choking on the cup of water she was drinking from. Kara gave her a shy smile and made her way over to Lena. Carefully setting down a bag she had brought with her, she quickly hugged Lena. Lena didn't know how to react knowing very well that the last two days of misery were due to her unrequited love for the blonde in front of her. Lena pulled away and sat down on the couch with Kara following closely down. They sat there as Kara asked her how she was, what happened and way too many questions for Lena's liking. Lena of course tried her best to answer, refusing to make eye contact with her. That's when Kara softly asked "why did you guys break up?" Lena wasn't sure how to answer, and maybe it was the liquid courage still in her system that she just simply stated, "you". Kara's eyebrows furrowed and seemed confused and right as she was going to speak Lena cut her off and continued. "You, because I am in love with you and I can't think of anything else. Part of me feels so guilty for leading James on but I didn't mean to. I just am incredibly in love with you Kara. I want you to be my mistake if I ever make one." Lena's head was spinning and she couldn't decipher the look on Kara's face. Right as Lena was going to tell Kara that she believed it would be better for her to leave she was cut off by soft plump lips. Lena couldn't think, her rather canny mind was complete mush. She feels herself relax into the kiss, slowly moving her lips against the blonde's. When air becomes a necessity they pull away. Small, shy smiles form on both of the girls face. Kara loving the fact that the usually pale girl is looking so incredibly flushed. They just stare at each other for a few moments before Kara finally finds her voice. "I love you too by the way, if that kiss didn't say that clear enough," Kara states while smiling at the green eyed girl. Lena just leans forward and catches the blonde's lips once again.

 


End file.
